Loving people is hard, especially once you acknowledge their faults, deficiencies, and frailties. Let's be honest: the closer you get to them, the more clearly you will see their shortcomings, so how do you do it? How do you keep loving them when they keep falling short of your expectations?
The answer lies in this week's Torah portion, Toldos. There, we learn about Esau and Yaakov, two twins who couldn't be further apart. Whereas Yaakov enjoyed the study of the Torah, Eisav loved to hunt and engage in purely materialistic pursuits. Rivkah, their mom, ever the pragmatist, saw the boys for who they were and, therefore, had a special attachment to Yaakov. On the other hand, Yitzchok had a special place in his heart for Eisav and even wanted to make him his successor, physically and spiritually, despite his terrible life choices; how was that possible? The answer teaches us the foundation of a parent-child relationship: Isaac loved his son unconditionally. Yes, he knew that Eisav wasn't living up to his potential. Yes, he was disappointed by his decisions, but he never gave up on him; he never stopped loving him.
This unconditional love is essential from parents to children and between us and our creator, our father in heaven, Hashem. We must always remember that while G-d has given us a code to live by and best fulfill our mission in this world, even when we fall short, Hashem still loves us, like a parent to a child. Once we recognize this simple truth, we can begin loving ourselves no matter our past mistakes and, in turn, love others' flaws included.
This weekend, I'm in NYC for the annual convention of Chabad Rabbis from around the world. While many are baffled by Chabad's success in thousands of centers across the globe, the truth is everything can be traced back to this simple ideal The Rebe taught us to love each person unconditionally. Only from a place of love can you encourage people to grow and develop, taking the next steps on their Jewish journey through life. This is a great Shabbat to find unconditional love for ourselves and each other and use the Ahava to fuel our personal and collective growth, bringing us all closer to the fulfillment of The Rebbe's dream, the time of Moshiach with love and harmony for all people, amen!
Mission: This week, someone will make you question your love for them. Resist the inclination to write them off and recognize the unconditional love lying dormant within you. Use that to maintain your connection to them while you work to help them forward on life's journey.